The problem is difficult enough even before we add to it the insistence that it should never have happened. Then, along with the actual task, we also carry an ongoing argument with our own expectations.
It helps to distinguish between the two. What specifically needs to be done? And what makes us angry because the event does not correspond to the previous plan? Answers can direct the conversation and reduce unnecessary repetition of the same remark.
This does not mean accepting every bad condition or keeping silent about injustice. It means first seeing the situation clearly enough to decide what we are changing, who we are turning to and which part we can no longer solve with our expectations alone.
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