There is a question we ask others almost every day, yet we ask it of ourselves less and less often. Not because we aren’t interested in the answer, but because we’re afraid that for the first time we’d have to admit just how far we’ve drifted from ourselves.
A person doesn’t lose themselves all at once. There isn’t a single major event that changes them overnight. It happens almost imperceptibly. Through the days when we’re constantly needed by someone. Through messages we reply to immediately. Through obligations that always take priority. Through the habit of putting ourselves off until later, convinced that one day we’ll have more time.
Over time, they become a pillar of support for everyone. People see them as responsible, strong, and stable—someone who always finds a solution and on whom they can rely. But behind this image often lies a person who no longer remembers the last time they stopped to honestly ask themselves how they’re doing.
Responsibility is one of our finest qualities. Yet there is a line beyond which it stops being a strength and starts looking like a betrayal of self. The person is no longer living their own life; they are merely fulfilling the roles others expect of them.
Perhaps that’s why the most important question today isn’t how many more obligations you have to complete. Perhaps it’s more important to ask yourself—without rushing and without the need to prove anything—one much simpler question.
How are you?
From the manuscript of the book “Do Not Lose Yourself While Building a Life.”
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