Helping can give us satisfaction, but that feeling does not by itself show that we have actually made things easier for the other person. Perhaps we are offering what seems useful to us while their need is different.
That is why we should ask and listen before taking on a task. The person should have the right to decline the offer or explain what support would be more appropriate. Their decision is not ingratitude.
Help becomes more meaningful when it is clear and achievable. We can offer a specific amount of time or a particular action, while respecting privacy. The good feeling then remains part of the experience, while the person's actual need remains the reason we became involved.
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