When we declare someone irresponsible or difficult to cooperate with in advance, we can read every subsequent action as a confirmation of that assessment. We then easily overlook a circumstance that is different from our assumption.
In everyday relationships, it is useful to describe specific behavior and leave room for explanation. What happened, how often is it repeated and what would indicate that the relationship has changed? Such questions provide a clearer foundation than one permanent label for a person.
This does not mean ignoring harm or believing every justification. It means that we tie the assessment to what we can verify. The person then gets an understandable request, and we get the opportunity to really notice the new behavior.
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